Driving a car is like driving a shopping cart....observations in a grocery store

So the refrigerator is empty once again, so it is off to the grocery store once again. Now, I don't know about you, but I detest going anywhere this time of year.  Everyone is in a hurry, they cut you off, stop in intersections and block you from turning left....and those monster vehicles!  Who do they think they are taking up the whole road?

Surprisingly, all of those crazy drivers have the same driving habits when it comes to their shopping carts!  

There is the speed shopper.  Running shoes on and the kids seat belted in the cart for those high speed right hand turns into the next aisle.  Groceries are just tossed over the kids head into the basket.  Every once in a while they will stop for a Chinese fire drill, as Mom deploys her minions out of the cart to retrieve something she has forgotten in aisle 5.

The dodge and duck.  You know the ones I mean.  As they drive down the road they swoop in between every parked car on the right just to swing back out into traffic once again....oh, yes, he was at the store today too.  Come on mister!  Commit to the aisle or stand back to read the aisle menus before turning in!  

The lane changer.  Weaving from left to right all the way down the aisle, sometimes picking items off the shelf, but most of the time just going for the slalom downhill record.

The hurry up and make me wait.  Always in such a huge hurry that they have to move into the intersection on the yellow light because they are special and have places to go.  Then they sit there through the red light, blocking all the cars wanting to turn left.  I think these are the same people that park right in front of the store to run in for that pack of cigarettes or gallon of milk because they are just that special.

And then there are those monster mega family suburbans that just take the space they want, when they want it.  Extra lanes on the road and taking up four parking spaces so they have room to navigate the get away.  Yes sir-ee. She was there today too.  I did actually comment to her about her technique of shopping.  Her theory was to never enter the aisle with her double wide.  Yes. You heard me right.  She had two  shopping carts.  She would park both carts at the end of an aisle, then dash in to grab an arm load of items, returning to the carts to drop them in.  This concept gives new meaning to only shopping the outside of the store.  She never had to back up or turn around.  No awkward three point turns for her!

We were able to escape with our essentials, thirty packages of Buddig meat, some snobby cheese, cereal and milk....all without any insurance claims needing to be filed.