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This is my journey. This is what I see. I am a wife, a mother, an artist. I am on His path.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

It's Raining Deer

Two weeks ago, whilst on vacation, I get a phone call that the Man Child killed a deer.

My first thought was.....

......CRAP! He was in my car, wasn't he!

As my blood pressure was escalating, I calmly asked about the extent of the damage to the vehicle....
...and, oh yes......is Man Child alright.

"What do you mean, damage to the vehicle?  I didn't say he HIT the deer. I said that the Man Child KILLED a deer."

Okay. I guess I had vacation brain, or something. Isn't that the same thing? I know that it is not deer season, so no tags have been acquired and no shotguns have discharged......

I'll bite then......the story went like this:

Man Child was driving home from work at oh-dark-early in the morning, and a cute little deer was standing in the road.  The cutie patootie was just standing there, in the middle of the road, minding his own business.  I am confident that if there was a mirror available, he would have been admiring his lovely little four-point rack he was sprouting.

Man Child slowed the car.
The deer stood...still minding his own business.
Man Child rolled closer, the gravel crunching under the tires
of my mighty V-Dub.
The deer stood, holding firm to his little piece of roadway.....

Man Child rolled down the window, leaned his head out quietly.....
........and yelped with all his might,


It frighted the poor dear (ha, did you see the switch in the letters from deer to dear?) so badly that he leapt into the air and promptly hopped, skipped, and jumped OVER the bridge.

He plummeted to his death onto the highway below.

The strangest part of this story was, Tall Man was returning home via said highway below, and witnessed the strange phenomena of the deer falling over the bridge.

What are the chances!?!

Man Child as Robin Hood way back when...
Well, I will tell you the chances......

Bambi's girlfriends were standing on the same corner this morning, obviously up to no good.

Man Child, once again, rolls slowly to a stop.
No flinch from Bambi's girlfriends......
Man Child creeps forward.
He must have been using his cloaking device....
He rolls down the window and with the same yelp as before, hollers, "DEER!"

You guessed it......
Jane Doe Number One takes a flying leap over the bridge.

Man Child said it was like watching a slow motion re-enactment of the previous incident.  The sweet thing tried quickly to correct herself, flipping in the air.  She must have thought she could flip around and grab onto the ledge of the bridge.  She forgot a vital piece of information though......

.......deer do not have thumbs!

Man Child quickly called Tall Man and a nice policeman.
He had dreams of venison jerky from this one.
She didn't hit hard at all......and then.....

......she jumped up and ran up the hill, leaping to safety over the fence.  The boys searched for a bit, but never did find her.
Denied venison once again.

The message here?

Watch out folks.....
.......it's raining deer in Iowa!

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