A Road Well Traveled - 2014.3: They Paved Paradise and Put Up A Parking Lot

The interstate was a parking lot most of the trip.

They paved paradise 

And put up a parking lot 

With a pink hotel, a boutique 

And a swinging hot spot 

Don't it always seem to go 

That you don't know what you've got 

Till it's gone 

They paved paradise 

And put up a parking lot

More parking lot....and bridges that don't quite line up?

They took all the trees 

Put 'em in a tree museum * 

And they charged the people 

A dollar and a half just to see 'em 

Pit row at the Rest Stop

Don't it always seem to go 

That you don't know what you've got 

Till it's gone 

They paved paradise 

And put up a parking lot

We're here! Paved Paradise and lines of cars. 

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot


lyrics taken from http://jonimitchell.com/music/song.cfm?id=208

© Siquomb Publishing Company 

A Road Well Traveled 2014.2: Multi-state Trekking

For the past couple of years, I have trekked across a state with Thelma and Louise....

.....A state.......one.....at a time.....

This is a new kind of trip this year.  A cross-country journey.  Many more days in the car than the typical three days, averaging about twelve hours a day in the car as we run from cool site, to cool site, to cool site.

My travel mates this year are my parental units.  Mom is thrilled with the idea of stopping and seeing some of these American gems.......Dad not so much.  He is trying.  He is attempting to "let go" and be adventurous, but he also wants to get to the final destination and just get out of the car!  I keep hearing the statement, "I never knew this was here!"

We set off on Day Two from glorious Paducah, Kentucky.  The town was packed, the hotels were packed, the restaurants were packed......there was a dog show AND a church convention in town.  Picture thousands of people with a dog leash in one hand a a bible and a drink in the other.  Big hair....on the dogs and the women.....and all those poor dogs in their cones of shame.

We were going to stop for breakfast, but F.N. Hamm did not like out first choice.

He was sweatin' it at this stop!

The special was Ham and Eggs for $2.99!  Eeeek!

We set off down through Kentucky. It was rainy. It was yucky. We didn't wee anything except trees on the roadside....and no fun attractions that we just HAD to stop to see.

I was delighted when we finally saw the light at the end of the short tunnel and saw the sign for....

F.N. Hamm was excited to see the sign!

....Tennessee!
We pulled into the Welcome Center
and the first place the Iowa boy stops?

The Weather Channel.  You can take the Iowan out of Iowa,
but you can't take the Weather Cannel out of the Iowan....

Dolly was nice enough to hold F.N. Hamm for the picture.

Our official greeter was Dolly!  This is as close as we are going to get to Dollywood OR the Grand Ole Opry, so ....... cheese!

We had one planned stop by Mom.  Beachhaven Winery in Clarksville.  We stopped to check out the unique gift shoppe and to do a little sampling.

Jazz pig!

Wine sampling....can you cure bacon in wine?
shhhhh......

We were off and running again to glorious Nashville!  

No detours here....that were planned anyway.

F.N. points out danger ahead!
Warning! Warning!

We did a little of Dad's tourism along the way.....

...quick....take that picture!

Look....it's the Batman Building in Nashville!

Our final have-to stop in Tennessee was to see the Giant Chicken Chef at the Elkton, TN exit along I-65.  We were nervous it wouldn't be there. It was rumored that the gas station was being torn down last year.....but surprise!

Can you find F.N. in the fork?
Guess what's for breakfast?
BACON!

They built a NEW Shell station and left the chicken!  I was so excited!

We pulled into Bro's house in the afternoon and spent the day relaxing.  We are off on our continuing trip with the whole family now.  I can't wait to see what adventures we have ahead of us.....

A Road Well Traveled: 2014.1 New Travel Partners

Ah....summer.
How I love thee.....finally......you are here.

I has been a long, never-seeming-to-end winter.  All I can say is.....snow days!

I finally packed up my classroom, spent a couple days at home getting life in a kind of order and.....
.......I'm OFF!

This year I am road tripping with Mommy and Daddy!  They have been so overjoyed on our trip today, anxiously awaiting to see what adventure awaited us around the next bend in the road.

Dad getting gassed up!

Our first stop was in Effingham, Illinois, along I-57.  Daddy kept asking, "How far off the road do we have to drive?"  Dad is not one to go off the beaten path....never has been.  He was definitely out of his comfort zone on this trip.

I picked this first one, because I really thought he might like stopping at a replica of a 1910 gas station.  It was pretty cool to see. The idea was you can pull your car up and have a photo op "filling" your car with gas.  I was worried that the mighty Durango might not fit in that little drive, so I didn't mention this opportunity to the parental units.  I could just see the news crews showing up to show the crazy Iowa family that got stuck at the fake gas station.....yeah - I would have waved!

The bonus was a museum call My Garage with a Corvette display and some awesome VW stuff!  Did I mention that this was FREE?

A nifty VW Cow!
I named it Farfegnugen.

High five at the Drive-In!

 The coolest thing we found in the gift shop was this awesome bucket of PIGS!  The idea is to take the pig and photograph it where ever you go on vacation.  Guess which piggy came home with me?

"Pick me, Pick me!"

Yup....do you see him peeking?  Have Pig....Will Travel!

On our way out of Effingham, the pig showed us the other site they are famous for....

The Cross at the Crossroads.
It is located at the junction of I-57 and I-70.
Holy Buckets was it TALL!
That'll do pig, that'll do.

We did a Dad tourism trip for our next site.  It goes kinda like this.....

"Hey, look!  There is that Mini Washington Monument you wanted to see! Quick pull out your camera and snap a picture! Why even stop at that one....it is soooo close to the road!"  This is Dad's idea of vacation.  You can see the sites of DC and never have to leave Illinois!  Whoo hoo! Bonus points!

Our final stop for the day was Metropolis.......the home of SUPERMAN!  I was so excited to get my picture with the statue, or maybe even see the Man of Steel HIMSELF!

Little did I know that it is Superman Celebration Weekend!  I am talking carnival rides and a Superman on every corner.  This became another dream vacation for Dad. Drive by photos, no museum lines....no funnel cakes.  Ugh.....so not fair!

This is as close as we could get without having to walk blocks through the chaos. The small bonus was a twofer.  The huge statue AND the Man of Steel.  Thank goodness for a telephoto lens on my camera! If only a shop would have been open to get a cape of my very own....dreaming now, I know.

So we got turned around to head back out of the mighty Metropolis and finally......

......out of Illinois.
Day one complete.

Car Troubles

I woke this morning under a little stress. 

Yesterday we took one of our cars in for a check engine light.  The estimate came back a little higher than we thought it would, but, such is life in the modern age of too many cars and children.

In the afternoon, my darling Tall Man decided to treat me with cleaning my car for me, de-winterizing it of all the salt and sand of a very long winter.  I received this report from the Man Child as soon as I walked in the door from school.  It went something like this……. “I told him he should not be doing all the work in the garage with the car radio on, but he didn't listen……he broke your car.”

….deep breath…….deep breath……deep breath……

My head is scrambled.  How am I going to squeeze this out of a budget that is already screaming this month from all the other unexpected bills that have crept up a little earlier than expected.

It will be fine.  This will all work out.  Don’t worry.  Don’t stress.  God will provide.  ……deep breath……deep breath……don’t hyperventilate……

We woke up this morning to take the car down.  Tall Man said he would just take it and wait for the ride to bring him back home.   Is he guilting me?  Is he using those puppy dog eyes on me?  I will shower…..I will come get moving here and drive down too.  It will be magical bonding time…..time alone.

He set off a little earlier than me.  Come to find out, it was because he had to drive a little slower than normal.  One of the missed details from yesterday was that the moon roof was stuck open and the screen that lets the ENTIRE top of the car exposed to the elements.  It was a brisk morning drive down to the dealership with the glorious whomp whomp whomp of the driving with the windows open.

I finally pulled up to the Luxury Dealership to the darling Tall Man standing with two cups of glorious Starbucks steaming in his hands.  We just pull out of the parking space to head home and his phone rings.  “Your car is done!”

Five minutes.  That is how much time elapsed from the drop off.  Five minutes.

We drove around the lot and pulled back into the garage pass through.  They just had to reset the timing from the battery running down.  No fuses.  No sensors. 

….No charge……..

So let’s recap. 

Stress.

Fret.

Worry.

Deep breathing.

Lay it out to God in prayer.

No bill.

Starbucks and a Pop Tart in the Luxury Lounge.

Add it all together and get a romantic date in our marriage………

Goats Can't Read

While we were living in the area of Detroit, it never failed that the telephone would ring during dinner time.  Our general rule was never to answer the phone during meal time. Dinner was the time to unwind, to relax, to enjoy family and stories of the day…….

The phone rang for about a week….

     ….about the same time…..

         ……every night…..

Tall Man finally excused himself and said it was time to find out what was so important.

He answers the phone.

It was a magazine sales telemarketer.

I hear Tall Man explain that he doesn't read magazines and he really wasn't interested.

Now….this is where I must paraphrase and guess on some of the conversation.  I was only hearing one side of this conversation, and I must say I was intrigued by the responses of the Tall Man.  So…here it goes…the conversation went something like this:

(Well, there must be something we have that you might be interested in.  What type of hobbies do you have, sir?)

You know, I am a goat herder.  Do you have anything specific for goat herders?

( That is a new one for me, but let me look.  I am sure I can find something that you would like...... I do see some magazines for farming.)

No.  I don’t farm. I just herd goats.

( I do have one here called Goat Rancher.  It might take a little longer for you to get set up through us, but I do believe I can arrange it for you. Do you have another hobby or interest?)

I do enjoy mountain climbing with my goats.

(Yes.... I do think I can find a publication that you would enjoy on that topic.  I have a few titles you could choose from.  ( I am not quite sure what titles were given at this point because I was rolling on the floor laughing about now.  The telemarketer listed of a few choices and Tall Man agreed to something.)  Do you have one more hobby or interest?  We have a special right now that if you choose three magazines, I can give you the three magazines for the price of two!)

My only other hobby is weaving.  I love to make ponchos from the goat fiber I collect after I give them a good brushing.

( Absolutely, sir!  I am confident I can find a magazine from Interweave Press!) 

That is just wonderful.  This is kind of exciting to get some magazines.  It might be enjoyable to sit down, pet my favorite goat, and read a bit. 

( That sounds wonderful, sir!  Is there anything else you can think of that I could help you with or find for you? Otherwise, I will just finalize this order and let you get back to your dinner.)

Do these magazines come in braille editions?

(Excuse me, sir?)

Well, I am a blind goat herder, and I am confident that my goats won’t be able to read them to me......do they come in braille?

<<click>>

The T-Shirt Incident

This image has been circulating on Facebook lately and it got me thinking about another time......


A long, long time ago, in a magical land called Germany, there lived a young prince and princess.  They had been married a little over a year and the young prince had just returned from a small battle in a sandbox in a far, distant land.

The princess wanted to take her handsome prince to see the sights of this glorious land they were residing in.  There were beautiful castles and lakes and forests that needed to be explored!

There was a castle hidden in the magical Spessart forests that the young princess knew her handsome prince would love!

It was referred to as the wasserschloss (water castle) because of the moat surrounding the lodge, but it was really known for being a hunting lodge.  The prince loved the hunt and was excited to go see this choice piece of real estate.

Along the way, was a small village that sold snacks, candies and souvenirs to the common tourist.  The prince and princess weren't interested in these trivial tokens because they knew the memory of the day, strolling through the woods, holding hands, and seeing history come to life would be a lasting memory in itself.

A tiny, elderly villager caught the eye of the young prince, and beckoned him to her booth.  She cast a spell upon him and enticed him with the magical essence of marzipan!

The young prince was overtaken with the magical marzipan fruits
and ate
   .......every.....
                  .........last.....
                              ............one of them.

As the young couple strolled through the properties and viewed the trophies in the Great Hall, the young prince began to not feel well.  He decided he should look for the Royal Honey-bucket and set off with a quick step.

The princess began to worry when the young prince did not return as quickly as she thought.  She began to look for him around the village and the honey-bucket, but he was no where to be seen.  She settled on the bridge to wait for her handsome prince to return to her.  When he finally emerged from the forest, she was fearful of his appearance.  She was frightened that he had settled upon some malady.

The young prince exclaimed that the honey-buckets of this strange land required coinage to enter!  He had never heard of such a thing and did not have the coinage of this land (since he had just returned from a far away sandbox).  He had thought of breaking down the door with his strong, handsome prince shoulders, but he got the stink eye from a squire standing near by.  So he slipped into the woods where no coins would be needed.

The princess was aghast!  She asked the prince if he would like some of the coins of the land so he could "clean himself up".

He exclaimed he was fine and just a little chilly.
He was also missing the back of his royal t-shirt.....

 

Life in a Christmas Village

Dad always wanted a Christmas village.  A few years ago, the parents added a great room to their house, with a beautiful bay window and fireplace mantle.

As a gift, the children purchased a village for the parents.....

Now...this is where I have to insert the disclaimer on my family.  I am sure you have all figured out that I don't come from the average, normal family.  We have an odd sense of humor.  It comes from my dad.....it is all from my dad.  Life was always interesting at the dinner table.  Spinach will always hold a special place in my childhood memory...but that is another story.

The year we gave my parents the Christmas Village, my dad went in for heart surgery.  It was scary.  He was originally supposed to have knee surgery, but pre-op work up showed some heart issues and - BAM - open heart surgery was scheduled quickly.  What a crazy Christmas that year.

We set up the beautiful little village on the window ledge where he could see it from his recliner.  He could enjoy the lights while he lounged with his huge, puffy heart pillow that he was awarded for surviving his ordeal of surgery.

Our beautiful little village has a Christmas Lodge, a church, a shopping district and a green house.  We also added people.  Each person in the village is a member of our family.  I will admit now, that I get my creativity from Dad.  He sat and enjoyed his little village and began to make a story about it.

This was his view during his recovery:

Welcome to the happy little village of Dennyville.

Every village should be centered around it's church.  It is the foundation of family.

Check out that parsonage!  It is bigger than the church!

The carolers are some of the grandchildren of the mayor.

left to right
Kaleigh, Sam, Emma and Lew

The village has a nice little shopping village with a Christmas shop and a candy store for the children.  According to Dad though, this is really a brothel.  Just check out those lights strung up and flashing all night.  When I asked why there was a candy store downstairs, I was informed it was just a cover to make it look nice as people walked by on the street.

 There is always plenty of activity on the street....

 David and Janie.
Really the perfect image of them.
(Jane is in a wheelchair in real life)

A year after the original village went up, the mayor allowed a brewery to be built on the edge of town.

As I was setting the village up this year, Dad told me to be sure to put Tye coming out of the brewery.  I pointed out that she normally is coming out of the greenhouse with a poinsettia for her Mom.  Dad let me know though that Tye stopped for a drink before she went home.....

At least Tye remembered her poinsettia
before leaving the pub.

The last two couples are the mayor's wonderful children.
The older couple sitting on the park bench making out....

Darin and Angie

 ....and the cutie, young couple, stealing a kiss in front of the green house.

Steve and Julie

We added a new member to our family this year.  Lew was married in November to Kathleen.  I am on the hunt for a new villager and possibly a new building.  I am thinking we should find a vet clinic......just for Lew and Katie. (Yup, they are both vets.)

Wishing you all a very, merry Christmas!
May your family enjoy a blessed and safe holiday together with laughter and joy abounding.

Love to you all,
                Bluehair