Car Troubles

I woke this morning under a little stress. 

Yesterday we took one of our cars in for a check engine light.  The estimate came back a little higher than we thought it would, but, such is life in the modern age of too many cars and children.

In the afternoon, my darling Tall Man decided to treat me with cleaning my car for me, de-winterizing it of all the salt and sand of a very long winter.  I received this report from the Man Child as soon as I walked in the door from school.  It went something like this……. “I told him he should not be doing all the work in the garage with the car radio on, but he didn't listen……he broke your car.”

….deep breath…….deep breath……deep breath……

My head is scrambled.  How am I going to squeeze this out of a budget that is already screaming this month from all the other unexpected bills that have crept up a little earlier than expected.

It will be fine.  This will all work out.  Don’t worry.  Don’t stress.  God will provide.  ……deep breath……deep breath……don’t hyperventilate……

We woke up this morning to take the car down.  Tall Man said he would just take it and wait for the ride to bring him back home.   Is he guilting me?  Is he using those puppy dog eyes on me?  I will shower…..I will come get moving here and drive down too.  It will be magical bonding time…..time alone.

He set off a little earlier than me.  Come to find out, it was because he had to drive a little slower than normal.  One of the missed details from yesterday was that the moon roof was stuck open and the screen that lets the ENTIRE top of the car exposed to the elements.  It was a brisk morning drive down to the dealership with the glorious whomp whomp whomp of the driving with the windows open.

I finally pulled up to the Luxury Dealership to the darling Tall Man standing with two cups of glorious Starbucks steaming in his hands.  We just pull out of the parking space to head home and his phone rings.  “Your car is done!”

Five minutes.  That is how much time elapsed from the drop off.  Five minutes.

We drove around the lot and pulled back into the garage pass through.  They just had to reset the timing from the battery running down.  No fuses.  No sensors. 

….No charge……..

So let’s recap. 

Stress.

Fret.

Worry.

Deep breathing.

Lay it out to God in prayer.

No bill.

Starbucks and a Pop Tart in the Luxury Lounge.

Add it all together and get a romantic date in our marriage………

Goats Can't Read

While we were living in the area of Detroit, it never failed that the telephone would ring during dinner time.  Our general rule was never to answer the phone during meal time. Dinner was the time to unwind, to relax, to enjoy family and stories of the day…….

The phone rang for about a week….

     ….about the same time…..

         ……every night…..

Tall Man finally excused himself and said it was time to find out what was so important.

He answers the phone.

It was a magazine sales telemarketer.

I hear Tall Man explain that he doesn't read magazines and he really wasn't interested.

Now….this is where I must paraphrase and guess on some of the conversation.  I was only hearing one side of this conversation, and I must say I was intrigued by the responses of the Tall Man.  So…here it goes…the conversation went something like this:

(Well, there must be something we have that you might be interested in.  What type of hobbies do you have, sir?)

You know, I am a goat herder.  Do you have anything specific for goat herders?

( That is a new one for me, but let me look.  I am sure I can find something that you would like...... I do see some magazines for farming.)

No.  I don’t farm. I just herd goats.

( I do have one here called Goat Rancher.  It might take a little longer for you to get set up through us, but I do believe I can arrange it for you. Do you have another hobby or interest?)

I do enjoy mountain climbing with my goats.

(Yes.... I do think I can find a publication that you would enjoy on that topic.  I have a few titles you could choose from.  ( I am not quite sure what titles were given at this point because I was rolling on the floor laughing about now.  The telemarketer listed of a few choices and Tall Man agreed to something.)  Do you have one more hobby or interest?  We have a special right now that if you choose three magazines, I can give you the three magazines for the price of two!)

My only other hobby is weaving.  I love to make ponchos from the goat fiber I collect after I give them a good brushing.

( Absolutely, sir!  I am confident I can find a magazine from Interweave Press!) 

That is just wonderful.  This is kind of exciting to get some magazines.  It might be enjoyable to sit down, pet my favorite goat, and read a bit. 

( That sounds wonderful, sir!  Is there anything else you can think of that I could help you with or find for you? Otherwise, I will just finalize this order and let you get back to your dinner.)

Do these magazines come in braille editions?

(Excuse me, sir?)

Well, I am a blind goat herder, and I am confident that my goats won’t be able to read them to me......do they come in braille?

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