Car Troubles

I woke this morning under a little stress. 

Yesterday we took one of our cars in for a check engine light.  The estimate came back a little higher than we thought it would, but, such is life in the modern age of too many cars and children.

In the afternoon, my darling Tall Man decided to treat me with cleaning my car for me, de-winterizing it of all the salt and sand of a very long winter.  I received this report from the Man Child as soon as I walked in the door from school.  It went something like this……. “I told him he should not be doing all the work in the garage with the car radio on, but he didn't listen……he broke your car.”

….deep breath…….deep breath……deep breath……

My head is scrambled.  How am I going to squeeze this out of a budget that is already screaming this month from all the other unexpected bills that have crept up a little earlier than expected.

It will be fine.  This will all work out.  Don’t worry.  Don’t stress.  God will provide.  ……deep breath……deep breath……don’t hyperventilate……

We woke up this morning to take the car down.  Tall Man said he would just take it and wait for the ride to bring him back home.   Is he guilting me?  Is he using those puppy dog eyes on me?  I will shower…..I will come get moving here and drive down too.  It will be magical bonding time…..time alone.

He set off a little earlier than me.  Come to find out, it was because he had to drive a little slower than normal.  One of the missed details from yesterday was that the moon roof was stuck open and the screen that lets the ENTIRE top of the car exposed to the elements.  It was a brisk morning drive down to the dealership with the glorious whomp whomp whomp of the driving with the windows open.

I finally pulled up to the Luxury Dealership to the darling Tall Man standing with two cups of glorious Starbucks steaming in his hands.  We just pull out of the parking space to head home and his phone rings.  “Your car is done!”

Five minutes.  That is how much time elapsed from the drop off.  Five minutes.

We drove around the lot and pulled back into the garage pass through.  They just had to reset the timing from the battery running down.  No fuses.  No sensors. 

….No charge……..

So let’s recap. 

Stress.

Fret.

Worry.

Deep breathing.

Lay it out to God in prayer.

No bill.

Starbucks and a Pop Tart in the Luxury Lounge.

Add it all together and get a romantic date in our marriage………

Goats Can't Read

While we were living in the area of Detroit, it never failed that the telephone would ring during dinner time.  Our general rule was never to answer the phone during meal time. Dinner was the time to unwind, to relax, to enjoy family and stories of the day…….

The phone rang for about a week….

     ….about the same time…..

         ……every night…..

Tall Man finally excused himself and said it was time to find out what was so important.

He answers the phone.

It was a magazine sales telemarketer.

I hear Tall Man explain that he doesn't read magazines and he really wasn't interested.

Now….this is where I must paraphrase and guess on some of the conversation.  I was only hearing one side of this conversation, and I must say I was intrigued by the responses of the Tall Man.  So…here it goes…the conversation went something like this:

(Well, there must be something we have that you might be interested in.  What type of hobbies do you have, sir?)

You know, I am a goat herder.  Do you have anything specific for goat herders?

( That is a new one for me, but let me look.  I am sure I can find something that you would like...... I do see some magazines for farming.)

No.  I don’t farm. I just herd goats.

( I do have one here called Goat Rancher.  It might take a little longer for you to get set up through us, but I do believe I can arrange it for you. Do you have another hobby or interest?)

I do enjoy mountain climbing with my goats.

(Yes.... I do think I can find a publication that you would enjoy on that topic.  I have a few titles you could choose from.  ( I am not quite sure what titles were given at this point because I was rolling on the floor laughing about now.  The telemarketer listed of a few choices and Tall Man agreed to something.)  Do you have one more hobby or interest?  We have a special right now that if you choose three magazines, I can give you the three magazines for the price of two!)

My only other hobby is weaving.  I love to make ponchos from the goat fiber I collect after I give them a good brushing.

( Absolutely, sir!  I am confident I can find a magazine from Interweave Press!) 

That is just wonderful.  This is kind of exciting to get some magazines.  It might be enjoyable to sit down, pet my favorite goat, and read a bit. 

( That sounds wonderful, sir!  Is there anything else you can think of that I could help you with or find for you? Otherwise, I will just finalize this order and let you get back to your dinner.)

Do these magazines come in braille editions?

(Excuse me, sir?)

Well, I am a blind goat herder, and I am confident that my goats won’t be able to read them to me......do they come in braille?

<<click>>

The T-Shirt Incident

This image has been circulating on Facebook lately and it got me thinking about another time......


A long, long time ago, in a magical land called Germany, there lived a young prince and princess.  They had been married a little over a year and the young prince had just returned from a small battle in a sandbox in a far, distant land.

The princess wanted to take her handsome prince to see the sights of this glorious land they were residing in.  There were beautiful castles and lakes and forests that needed to be explored!

There was a castle hidden in the magical Spessart forests that the young princess knew her handsome prince would love!

It was referred to as the wasserschloss (water castle) because of the moat surrounding the lodge, but it was really known for being a hunting lodge.  The prince loved the hunt and was excited to go see this choice piece of real estate.

Along the way, was a small village that sold snacks, candies and souvenirs to the common tourist.  The prince and princess weren't interested in these trivial tokens because they knew the memory of the day, strolling through the woods, holding hands, and seeing history come to life would be a lasting memory in itself.

A tiny, elderly villager caught the eye of the young prince, and beckoned him to her booth.  She cast a spell upon him and enticed him with the magical essence of marzipan!

The young prince was overtaken with the magical marzipan fruits
and ate
   .......every.....
                  .........last.....
                              ............one of them.

As the young couple strolled through the properties and viewed the trophies in the Great Hall, the young prince began to not feel well.  He decided he should look for the Royal Honey-bucket and set off with a quick step.

The princess began to worry when the young prince did not return as quickly as she thought.  She began to look for him around the village and the honey-bucket, but he was no where to be seen.  She settled on the bridge to wait for her handsome prince to return to her.  When he finally emerged from the forest, she was fearful of his appearance.  She was frightened that he had settled upon some malady.

The young prince exclaimed that the honey-buckets of this strange land required coinage to enter!  He had never heard of such a thing and did not have the coinage of this land (since he had just returned from a far away sandbox).  He had thought of breaking down the door with his strong, handsome prince shoulders, but he got the stink eye from a squire standing near by.  So he slipped into the woods where no coins would be needed.

The princess was aghast!  She asked the prince if he would like some of the coins of the land so he could "clean himself up".

He exclaimed he was fine and just a little chilly.
He was also missing the back of his royal t-shirt.....

 

Life in a Christmas Village

Dad always wanted a Christmas village.  A few years ago, the parents added a great room to their house, with a beautiful bay window and fireplace mantle.

As a gift, the children purchased a village for the parents.....

Now...this is where I have to insert the disclaimer on my family.  I am sure you have all figured out that I don't come from the average, normal family.  We have an odd sense of humor.  It comes from my dad.....it is all from my dad.  Life was always interesting at the dinner table.  Spinach will always hold a special place in my childhood memory...but that is another story.

The year we gave my parents the Christmas Village, my dad went in for heart surgery.  It was scary.  He was originally supposed to have knee surgery, but pre-op work up showed some heart issues and - BAM - open heart surgery was scheduled quickly.  What a crazy Christmas that year.

We set up the beautiful little village on the window ledge where he could see it from his recliner.  He could enjoy the lights while he lounged with his huge, puffy heart pillow that he was awarded for surviving his ordeal of surgery.

Our beautiful little village has a Christmas Lodge, a church, a shopping district and a green house.  We also added people.  Each person in the village is a member of our family.  I will admit now, that I get my creativity from Dad.  He sat and enjoyed his little village and began to make a story about it.

This was his view during his recovery:

Welcome to the happy little village of Dennyville.

Every village should be centered around it's church.  It is the foundation of family.

Check out that parsonage!  It is bigger than the church!

The carolers are some of the grandchildren of the mayor.

left to right
Kaleigh, Sam, Emma and Lew

The village has a nice little shopping village with a Christmas shop and a candy store for the children.  According to Dad though, this is really a brothel.  Just check out those lights strung up and flashing all night.  When I asked why there was a candy store downstairs, I was informed it was just a cover to make it look nice as people walked by on the street.

 There is always plenty of activity on the street....

 David and Janie.
Really the perfect image of them.
(Jane is in a wheelchair in real life)

A year after the original village went up, the mayor allowed a brewery to be built on the edge of town.

As I was setting the village up this year, Dad told me to be sure to put Tye coming out of the brewery.  I pointed out that she normally is coming out of the greenhouse with a poinsettia for her Mom.  Dad let me know though that Tye stopped for a drink before she went home.....

At least Tye remembered her poinsettia
before leaving the pub.

The last two couples are the mayor's wonderful children.
The older couple sitting on the park bench making out....

Darin and Angie

 ....and the cutie, young couple, stealing a kiss in front of the green house.

Steve and Julie

We added a new member to our family this year.  Lew was married in November to Kathleen.  I am on the hunt for a new villager and possibly a new building.  I am thinking we should find a vet clinic......just for Lew and Katie. (Yup, they are both vets.)

Wishing you all a very, merry Christmas!
May your family enjoy a blessed and safe holiday together with laughter and joy abounding.

Love to you all,
                Bluehair

Listing.....

I know....it has been forEVER!

If I only had an extra four hours in a day, I might accomplish everything on my list.  Yes, I have lists.

Lists of art that needs to be done.
Lists of chores.
Lists of bills.
Lists of appointments.
Lists of to do's.
Lists of school work...mine and Man Child's.
Lists of meetings.

I have my alarm set every morning, but there is 3:18 AM ... again.

I am surviving.
I am accomplishing what needs to be done.

I am looking for a rainbow.

....... and I am ready to cross one thing off my list.

I am presenting at the Lutheran Educator's Association Convocation this Friday in Milwaukee.  Two Classes.  Slides are done.  Boxes are packed.

I still have a:

List of supplies to double check.
List for packing.
List for groceries before I go.

I hope for a relaxing - and educational - experience this week.  I am hoping to kick back a little......

....and maybe....

I won't make lists for four days while I am in Milwaukee.

My Hero

Every other Sunday, the pastor will announce from the lectern, "The children are invited up to gather around for the Children's Message."

About this time, Man Child will look at me with those darling 9 year old eyes and say, "Can I go?"

Yeah, he is SIXTEEN now, but will always be my NINE year old.  The little boy full of big dreams and energy. The little boy who looked at me and said, "Mommy, I will always stay home and take care of you."

Melt my heart.

He knows he will always be that little boy who stole my heart.

Of course I always nudge him and say,
"Yes! Go if you would like to!"

....and I get that giggle as he settles back in his seat.

There was a surprise this week though.

The family sitting in the pew with us.....a Mom and two of her daughters.  The littlest one in her sparkly princess dress, ready for the Princess Birthday Party she had been invited to after church and the older daughter in her zipped up, sporty, nylon jacket....the tomboy showing through this Sunday.  Little Princess immediately jumped from her seat and excused her way passed my knees and Man Child's knees.  She turned to look at her sister who remained seated.  Her pleading eyes saying.....come on, let's go, it's time!  Mom looks at her with warm eyes and whispers, "Your sister doesn't want to go up today."

As her eyes fell to the ground in sadness, I nudged the Man Child.

His hand went out immediately and he asked if he could go up with her.  Her eyes lit with such joy as she grabbed his hand and led him up toward the altar of the church and proudly sat down. Her smile stretch ear to ear.

Man Child sat down, criss-cross applesauce, next to his new friend, a tower of a man compared to the small children that surrounded him.  He listened with her. He prayed with her. She watched him so carefully.

Little Princess had such joy in her new friend and I was so proud of him.  As the kids stood up at the end of the message, he reached to take her hand to return to our pew.  All I could think was.....


Man Child, you are my hero!

New-fangled Dishwasher?

“Why is there Tupperware in the washing machine?”

What? What did I just hear coming out of the Man Child’s mouth?

Tupperware?  Washing machine?

I ran down to see what he was talking about, and in his hand…

     …a round, red Ziploc plastic container in one hand….

             ….the screw on lid in the other hand.

Oh….no…..

Flashback to yesterday.  End of the day, I started stacking all of the items I needed to bring home from school; computer bag, laundry basket with wet paint rags, purse, and, I almost forgot, my container of oatmeal that I never took time to eat for breakfast.  Holy buckets, that would have been pretty gross Tuesday morning when I came back in to work.  I bundled everything up and tossed the red Ziploc container into my laundry basket laden full of red classroom rags.  Got home….scooped laundry into the washer and swooped down to the studio.

Fast forward to my laundry room this morning.

Yup. A Man Child holding a spanky, clean Ziploc container and a washer full of........

              …..glued rags.

Peanut wondered out loud…… ”How does this stuff always happen to you?”

I guess I am just blessed!